ah.

i feel like throwing all my old works.


all into trash bin!


but i don't have new works to publish.


screwed up.

Hmmm...
i guess i'm very inconsistence?
my works seems different from few months ago and a year ago.
I suppose i'm not those who can stick on a style... or, maybe put in a way that, i'm trying out different method. Some might be looks dim, some extream contrast. Some happy tone, some emo tone. That's why, i myself doesn't know how to name myself.

Hmmm, it's a question that lays to no answer. But, friends out there find it confusing about my style.. forgive me. I do hope to develope only one. But, for now, i guess i'll keep changing... and hope that every change make me improve.

Thanks for those who drop by!

I still miss

He. might be a she.
He. might have boobs, might not.

BUT

He. care too much about how others judge him. he can't take it. and now, he leave deviant!

SIGH...


yah, it's been a while since he post he's leaving... but, i thought, he'll soon be back in action! but, until now there's still nothing new that he post!

miss him really much. there's always a wonder on how these people get so famous! It's somehow like a legend! Just because he's good looking and take good picture of themselves? And so the whole world fall in love with him? Or, that's something beyond this that we subconsciously get admired??

anyhow. really hope he'll come back!
that's always thrill when i see he have new works on post!

okay!
i'm been so not-active here!
due to the fact that i'm working now, and i'm staying with my mom without a connection to internet!
guess what, i have 100+ of artworks waiting for me to check out! i watched alot of great people...
well, i will, and i hope to get every works comment or fav!

urh! i need to get back to my life here!!

I always get motivated by something, or by myself..., then, when i put alot of effort on something, but it's not agreed by others, like it's not being appreciated, i'll get very upset. Then, i'll throw questions to myself, that am i capable and suitable in this industry. Struggling if it's time to face the fact that i'm lame and quit, or tell myself not to give up, one day, i will success? Afterall, i still choose to stay, because i belief i can do better. There’s where i start to motivate myself. then, i’ll get dissapointed, then i’ll struggle again...

I don't know about others, but that's what kept repeating all these years. Everyone says art is subjective, there’s no right or wrong, there’s no pretty or ugly. But, there’s still awards, books, reviews, lecturers to judge and differentiate between the good ones and the normal ones and the bad ones. How they actually judge it? From what aspects? Well, I’m just curious, tho, i’m the one who always pre-judge people anyway..... hhaha, whooops.

Somehow for me, i guess i care too much about others comment. No matter if it’s good or bad, it’ll just suddenly change my mood. Because, when we created something, the first thing is to expose and see if anyone like it? or anyone hate it? It's just normal that we seek for attention. But I guess it’s time to learn care less about all this things that’ll make me paranoid. I should know where i stand, and i should know myself better than anyone in this world!

Again, i’m not giving up at all! I’m here to tell myself not to quit, and motivate myself to work harder in future!
Art is a playground, it’s fun, and i’m not having enough fun here! So, no matter if my work sucks or craps! I'll still be around... sorry!